That was the imaginary sound he heard in his head whenever he centralized his butt on the toilet seat. The click sound was produced because his anus was directly pointing to the center of the toilet bowl such that if there was a dart board in the bowl and he poo’ed, the poo wouldn’t miss the centre of the board.

Jergens cream.

The picture.

The cup.

He brought out his penis and had a deep breath. He was not in the mood but he had to. Everything was perfect and would be easier with the picture….her picture.

He gently squeezed out the milky white cream out of the container and into his palm. He rubbed both palms together and gently placed them on his phallus. The contrast of the temperature of his palms against the warmth of his penis, gave him the first vasodilatation…little ‘he’ jerked!

He got the…

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Phantom Pages

Yes, it’s that time of the month again when I feel the need to chat shit and have you people read. AbI all na blogging no be so? At least I didn’t steal this post off a newspaper in a certain state…like say Delta. (Though why anyone would want to steal an article from Delta is in itself a dilemma worthy of prayers)
this is not a rant or even a rambling post. Ok maybe it is a bit of a rambler. I’ve got a lot on my mind so feel like sharing my burden.

1. Contracts cannot be spelt without Con. I’m actually vexed because the insurance contract company I use for my phone have tried to con me. I dey my house, jehjehly preparing for work and they called. Insurance this and that. The price was reasonable so me sef agree. The gay sounding dude  I spoke to…

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Emotion (REBLOG)


Crazypinkheart by SheiskinggRayh

hello online diary

if a coin was dropped in my soul right naw… youd just never hear a sound… an empty soul, thats what i am right now, i dunno if its the heartbreak, or the way things are generally are, or if its this pseudo life im living.. buh somehow i feel empty.

i drift through everyday like  wave.. i just continue in high and low frequences to wherever direction it all leads me. i am sort of tired of existence, primariy because of the people i hav encountered in mylife and the mini trials i encounter everyday.

i live in a world where pain and numbness alternate, where i cant remember when last i laughed, am i some how dead?. or am i just hurt beyond what im willing to admit.

id go to God and beg..buh i feel so unworthy, my faith fails me, i cant seem…

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Beyonce feat IBK Spaceshipboi – End Of Time Remix

I freaking love this song. WHAT!!!!

Ibk killed this remix. If he doesnt win I go vex because i went to the site and the top three tracks r total rubbish compared to this song. But the competition is btw d top 50 tracks so im holding my breath for him

Beyonce ft IBKspaceshipboi – End of time remix premaster.mp3


Random flow

So this is me trying to be all random up in here. Tis not good for a blog to be all empty and forlorn (Will.I.Am Shakewacker)



Still fishing for words……. hang on……..

Almost got something now…………

Damn. Your pretty face distracted me. Yeah you. No not u; you look like a monkey that fell 50 stories n landed on her head…..

*runs as afore mentioned monkey girl starts frothing at the mouth while chasing him with sharp object*

Wheew that was close…..mopol in front of my house saved me in time…..

Where was I? oh yeah you with the lovely eyes….

Dont blush, this is no wash…..

Yeah see what I did there? 😀

You dunno what I did? I rhymed na……

You cant see it……. -____________-


Apostate. You clearly wouldnt recognise talent if it tackled and butt raped you. vamoose


So I just got Mylo Xyloto….yeah i know. *carries last* its nice. Not a Coldplay fan though so it doesnt tickle my balls. I prefer my rock high pitched, screamy (a la Linkin Park of old) and complex (a la metal)


yeah. Im done here. Goodnight