I so wish a nigga would

#np sometimes you make me smile - Floetry

I hate this fear.

its crippling. It lurks in every shadow. Every noise. every form.

It takes a formerly fearless being and leaves him jumping at shadows

Leaves him awake at 2am after refueling his generator unable to sleep bcos his heart's pounding so fast.

who does the immortal one tell he is scared?

One to whom the very shadows are his cloak

One to whom fear's but primal energy to be fed on

One who strides in boldly where demons wet thier pants when they dream of been dragged there

Yeah yeah I know. Lil ol dramatic me.

Popsie was robbed a couple of weeks ago while I was opening the gate for him to drive in.
I was unceremoniusly tucked under anoda car as the bastids made off with his 08 corolla. 
While i've had to be strong as everyone around me have become blithering hysterical, i've been dodging the fear in me. Now the most mundane tasks like stepping out of the house is fear filled. I look twice at any shadow. I look left, right and left again before opening the door to step into my house.

My own fucking house.

The bastion of solidness and security I cherished.

Im glad I wrote this

#np place for my head - linkin park

Because right now, I fucking wish a nigga would.

Advertisements

6 responses to “I so wish a nigga would

  1. Ok! I told you to quit the drugs! You r not serious, are you? If you are I could hook you up with a fine piece of metal to blow a few brains! I’m nice like that!

  2. I like this. U are afraid but as crippling as the fear is, anger lies beneath so ure not helpless. Its okay…a nigga definitely would.
    P.s aren’t u sposed to have ur ‘strength’ by ur side. *wink*

  3. 2nd time here. Was loving the poetry you spewed back at the beginning there.

    In the end, I surmise that it will all be well, even if it seems otherwise.

    Take care, Immortal one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s