I so wish a nigga would

#np sometimes you make me smile - Floetry

I hate this fear.

its crippling. It lurks in every shadow. Every noise. every form.

It takes a formerly fearless being and leaves him jumping at shadows

Leaves him awake at 2am after refueling his generator unable to sleep bcos his heart's pounding so fast.

who does the immortal one tell he is scared?

One to whom the very shadows are his cloak

One to whom fear's but primal energy to be fed on

One who strides in boldly where demons wet thier pants when they dream of been dragged there

Yeah yeah I know. Lil ol dramatic me.

Popsie was robbed a couple of weeks ago while I was opening the gate for him to drive in.
I was unceremoniusly tucked under anoda car as the bastids made off with his 08 corolla. 
While i've had to be strong as everyone around me have become blithering hysterical, i've been dodging the fear in me. Now the most mundane tasks like stepping out of the house is fear filled. I look twice at any shadow. I look left, right and left again before opening the door to step into my house.

My own fucking house.

The bastion of solidness and security I cherished.

Im glad I wrote this

#np place for my head - linkin park

Because right now, I fucking wish a nigga would.